i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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