Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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