Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
