i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A bitchslap is in order.
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