but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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