Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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