Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
