I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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