You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
