dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
