READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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