i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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