So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
