I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
