Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
