Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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