Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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