hotel room ftw
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Randomize
