i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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