At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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