If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
