Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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