oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
