Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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