dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
