normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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