Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
