what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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