Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
