turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We had sex on a dog bed..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
