Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
