saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Small penises have feelings too.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
These tits shall not be calmed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
