you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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