why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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