talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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