i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
