Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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