She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
