The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
