I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize