Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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