Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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