meet me or not, i'm out of control
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
