I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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