i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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