I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
