Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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