Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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