doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize