Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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