it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
