We won't sleep together?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
