She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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