Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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