I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
