Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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