"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
