Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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