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Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
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