How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
