we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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