i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
