There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
