Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
