We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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