I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
