I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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