You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
