dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
