I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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